I am so f*cking tired of my weight making me feel like a waste of oxygen. Moment of truth: am I fat? Be honest.

Okay guys, so I'm sure you've heard this all before. Melodramatic, unrealistic teen sobbing to an audience who likely doesn't care about her petty little problems.

Well, I hope that's not what this is. Because I really, truly hate myself and I want to feel better. For as long as I can remember I've hated myself and my body, mostly due to celebrity/porn star comparisons (stupid, I know). Here's what you need to know about me:

Height: 5'1".
Weight: 133 pounds on a good day.
Bra size: 34 C

I'm not sure about my hip or waist measurements, but here's what bothers me. My BMI is a 24.9, which is at the 81st percentile. This means my weight is technically normal. If so....why am I so gross? I'm literally in tears typing this right now. My bra size is a C but they don't look that big, my belly sticks out about 3/4 of an inch further than..'down there', I have really thick thighs with cellulite, and back fat.

I've lost 17 pounds since November but I still feel and feel that I look equally gross still. My school is full of girls who are just as short as I am that are so skinny, and every ideal weight chart or calculator I look at says I should be like 105 pounds. 105 f*cking pounds? I haven't weighed that little since the fifth grade! I just...I feel like a failure. 133 pounds doesn't seem like that much but I'm just so short that I feel huge. I feel disgusting. Sometimes I even feel that my own fiance only stays with me because he feels that he has to settle for this (he has cancer, so I worry he thinks he can't do any better).

I don't eat terribly unhealthy and I don't eat a lot. I don't get this at all. I either want to figure out how to lose 15-ish more pounds (I hit a plateau at 33), or figure out why I'm seeing such a distorted image.

Help? Please?