Dont you realise I still LOVE you!!!

You smile and talk to me as if its perfectly normal. Maybe it is after the length of time we've been apart. But it kills me inside to see you so happy without me. You promised you would never hurt me. You said you loved me but how can you. You hurt me and within the space of an hour you came over smiling as if everything was back to normal.
I now see you smiling, kissing and holding one of my best friends and you still cant see how much it effects me. Yeah you tell I'm upset but you still dont click on. I miss our days out. I miss cwtching up together. I miss how awesome you are. We were so close and now we're so far apart. You smile and hug me and it means alot more to me than you.
Since you I hardly smile. When I do it's forced so people wont click on to how unhappy I am. The only real smile is when we're talking and I forget all the heartache and pain you caused me...until you put your arms around your current girlfriend and it brings me back to reality.
You dont realise how much you hurt me. How I didnt eat for days. Cried myself to sleep everyday for months. How i locked myself up in my room. I dropped out of things I loved to avoid seeing you or you mum. But even after all that I would take you back in a heat beat. You meant everything to me. Yes I know I'm sixteen. Yes I know I have my whole life in front of me. Everyone tells me its not love. That its a stupid romance that means nothing. It meant something to me. I know you will never read this and I will never be able to tell you. But if you could this is how it would be.

I love you. Always </3
May 17th, 2011 at 09:37pm