Because my life is F***ing perfect!

Because I have an amazingly perfect life of a 17yr old girl my life is perfect. That's right, my awesomely perfect job never interrupts my perfectly amazing homework and my beauty perfecting sleep.

My PERFECT boss never pays me perfectly on time because my work is SO DAMN PERFECT I can wait another perfect week of my perfect life!

My perfectly patient boyfriend would rather hang out with his perfectly talented cast than hang out with moi, the most perfect girl in the whole mother f***ing world! He doesn't quite care that my perfect life is just so perfect right now that I get in about four hours of sleep because I'm stressed at the perfect amount! I never see his perfectly amazing self because he's so perfectly busy with every perfect commitment he's made over his wonderful perfect girlfriend who is so perfectly in love and stupid she will perfectly wait for him no matter what perfect f***ing excuse or such comes up.

Want to know why? It's PERFECTLY understanding, he loves me. Yes, he loves his perfect girlfriend SO PERFECTLY MUCH he must let me take the fall if he cannot fill every perfect commitment he's made to other people.

My life is SO perfect that I get to direct an entire flash mob by myself because my perfect drama teacher thinks I'm so perfectly talented that I should take on this entire perfect project by my perfect f***ing self. Why? Because this perfect group of students is too disruptive for her to handle.

My life is so magically perfect that my father can't stop talking about it! He can't wait a moment to list all my perfect qualities and then give me a bunch more perfect tasks and responsibilities!

My perfect father must remind me how perfect my life is so when ever I show any sign of not-so-perfect attitude I perk right up! Every now and then I perfectly remind him I am only a perfect human. However he keeps up to his perfectly in line fatherly duties by reminding me I "should've been born to a poor Mexican family who has nothing so my fucking ungrateful ass would know true responsibility!".

My perfect dad is right! I shouldn't get home at the perfect time of 10pm at night! I should arrive home MUCH later at a more perfect time because then I would earn more perfect money to lavish my perfect self with!

Debt??
What debt father? You mean my perfect laptop debt of 1,000$, my perfect limo debt of 80$ for my perfect boyfriend and myself? My perfect soon gas, car and food money?

No dad you're right, I'm much to perfect to work to money. Everyone knows when you're as perfect as I am money grows out my perfect ass!

Dad, I'm PERFECTLY glad you reminded me how PERFECT my life is and how I have NO reason to cry, stay up late, be behind on homework, or want to see my boyfriend.

I'M THE MOST PERFECT MOTHER F***ING GIRL IN THIS WHOLE F***ING WORLD!