. . . and then i grew up.

Six years old and nothing is a struggle.
Seven, and no worries still,
Eight years of living and as care free as ever.

A blink, a moment in time, and a push of the fast-forward button and im staring at the big number 16, and am left wondering, where's the rewind ?

I remember that 6 year old.<3
her smile was missing teeth. and she believed she was destined to become a famous and successful singer. She loved Barbie dolls and would let her daddy braid her hair so that when she woke up in the morning, it would be all wavy and cute. She loved bubble baths and still wore floaties in the pool. Her greatest accomplishment was learning to tie her shoe and ride her bike without the training wheels. She didnt see people for anyone but who they were. She didnt have anything to say about how they looked or who they hung out with, because it didnt matter. All that mattered was that she got to see her school mates everyday. The only drama was when they took the toy she wanted and the only injury she feared was falling in a game of tag.

now, she sits in the front seat of the car, her headphones in, and staring out the window. Her face has makeup painted on it - that she swore she would never wear. Her legs are smooth, no lil white hairs punching through the skin and no bruises or scratches from pavement. She can reach the top of the counter and her feet touch the floor, instead of dangle.

I remember that lil girl.
She had no worries at all. Mommy and daddy had money, but she didnt need it. She had just as much fun playing hide and seek or swinging in the park as anywhere else. She loved to draw with chalk and her favorite show was the PowerPuff girls. In the grocery, she ran straight to the cereal aisle. She would listen to music and dance around her room. She still dressed up for Halloween and slept with her little stuffed dog, named Bernie. She was naive and innocent in a world that knew too much and was so cruel.

now, she knows of the worlds evils. She knows about murders, the homeless, and the struggles. Mom and dad need help, they cant pay for the price of living alone. Studies and books have caught up with her, and questions about what to do next have begun to pop up. Colleges have worked their way into the conversations and people have worked their way out of her life. Nothing is certain, and unlike when she was a lil girl, shes beginning to detest surprizes.

that lil girl, didnt care if she matched. She wasnt even thinking about driving. She loved to stare up at the sky and look for puffy creatures in the clouds. She chased butterflies and jumped in puddles.

today, she sits and wonders when was the last time she did any one of those things.She cant remember, and it saddens her. She realizes she has a great life, but misses the small things that use to make her whole day.

- So often we get caught up in what we're doing and our best memories fade. We forget to do the dumb but fun things. Just because we get older, doesnt mean we're too old to be young. I miss that six year old, but, i know she hasnt been lost.