Life is shit.. In a nutshell...

Yes, I am a depressing person.
Yes, I am emo to a certain point.
Yes, I have issues. Just like everyone else.

Why am I writing this? Just because I feel pathetic enough to unbottle all my feelings and emotions I've been trying to keep in check for the past few years so maybe, just maybe, someone will read this and say to themselves "I know exactly what she's going through".

I'm mad at my parents. My biological ones anyway. Yes, very clishe teenager of me isn't it? I know, but I have valid reasons. My "father" never calls, or emails, or comes to see me or my 12 year old brother, only when he's driving through town. My brother only recently turned 12, and our father never even called him. Pathetic isn't it? And my mom... Well, she barely notices me most of the time. When she does it's either to bitch off at me for ruining her plans or forgetting to do something she told me to. Honestly, my parents don't care. Only my soon-to-be stepfather, moms fiancee, acts like he cares about me.

My family... Is anything but. I avoid them at all costs. Just because half of them are stuck up, the other hardly knows I exist.

I have someone close to me who just lost a close friend to him, and I have no idea how to help him. I try to make him feel better, and he says I've helped him alot, but really, I feel like I'm not making a difference. I feel like a failure. Texting him isn't going to work forever, and I can't go see him either because of the 6 hour drive, but what else can I do? Nothing. Just sit here, feeling useless because I have no idea how to help him cope.

I feel like a waste 90% of the time. I don't think I'm very pretty, although people are all the time saying I'm beautiful or sexy. I think I'm overweight. All in all, I don't like my appearance. My personality however... I don't like that either. I'm weak. I love too easily, trust too easily, care about everyone I talk to within minutes because I want to help the world, and I wear my heart on my sleeve most of the time. So yes, I am weak.

Bottling up emotions isn't nice is it? No, it's not. But I still try. Time after time it gets harder and harder, like a bucket overflowing with water, or a spray can about to explode because of too much pressure and heat. I fear doing something stupid, but yet I don't want to talk to anyone about my issues. Which doesn't explain why I'm writing this too well does it?

So.. In a nutshell, life is shit.. Well... Mine anyway... Hope you enjoyed my random blurb of insecurities and thoughts, to whomever is reading.

So, that was as much as I'm writing