My Life (Beware: There isn't a happy ending)

Events: Field trip, School Dance

People Involved: Eli (best dude friend), Nik (other best dude friend), Cole (guy I like, sort of close friend), Keerthana (don't know her very well), Sharan (Keerthana's cousin, in my class but I don't hang out with him), Lillian (don't know her very well, she's very popular), and Ashleigh (again....I don't know her very well).

Okay, so I Eli, Nik, Cole, Keerthana, Sharan, and Ashleigh formed their own little group yesterday at a field trip. Whenever Ashleigh is around, Eli always leaves me (if he's around me) to be with her because he's like...in love. Ashleigh's really pretty...I won't lie. I'll mostly be talking about Eli, Cole, and Ashleigh...not so much the others.

I really, really, REALLY like Cole. I hang out with him everyday after school for about fifteen minutes but then I have to go home. Well, I think Cole might either go to an upcoming dance with Lillian or Ashleigh. Lillian wasn't part of the group, though. I clung to my BFF Amanda's arm because my other best friend left me for Ashlee and Hayleigh.

I envy the popular girls. And get this: Almost all of them a drop-dead gorgeous. I think I'm OK-looking....but definitely not near as pretty as those other girls. It makes me sick. Lately, Cole's been hanging out with them...I feel really jealous but I know I can't say anything. I may have the nerve to talk to Cole (like I said we hang out sometimes) but I don't have any nerve at all to walk up to those pretty, popular girls and strike up a conversation.

Every time I see Cole and the "populars" together I get queasy...and I feel like crying or puking.

Oh yeah, and today I didn't talk to Cole to try the "let him come to you method". He didn't even say a word to me. I feel so special....(FRICK!!!)