Story Feedback

So, hi there! I'm Crystal or as I am known here on mibba, SerenityRose. My friend morningglory and I have been working on a story together. It's called Enemies Closer and I would love if you lovely users would come read it and let me know what you like and what you don't like. Right now it is at 3 chapters. Hopefully we will be able to work on it some more now that school has ended! Ah summer. Anyway, it would really help me (and us) out to get comments. Also, we take turns writing chapters. It's a story that is from two different points of view. You don't have to just give comments to me. Comments are welcome for both of us authors. Just be sure to check which author wrote what and let us know whose writing you are referring to. Feedback is much appreciated. If you do it for me, just let me know and I will give you feedback on any work of yours that you would like to get feedback on. Thank you so much! :)