Grow

So I've been thinking for awhile. About alot of things I guess, but mainly one being the kind of person that I want to be. I've never been a person that I was proud of. But within the past two years I've learned to appreciate everything that I've been through, because it made me who I am now.
Of course, even so, I still want to better myself. I'm finally a person that I can live with, but sometimes I feel like I'm not a person that other people could live with. Like I said, I love who I am right now. It's just that parts of me I need to hide from other people, which sometimes really can be stressful. It feels like if people could see inside of my skin that they wouldn't like me anymore. So instead of actually focusing on the real issue, I distract myself with trivialties. I've been reading books mostly, and trying to be more like characters I admire. It's not a bad approach. Selflessness, innocence, loyalty, etc. It's just I feel like I'm trying to cover up a huge gushing stab wound with make-up.
Anways. I guses where I'm going with this is sharing something that I've learned within the last two years. Sometimes, you aren't going to be able to grow without putting yourself on the line. Too bad for me, putting myself on the line is one of my charactor flaws. I have an awful hard time with it.
This probably didn't even make sense. But whatever.