"Are You Single?" - "Umm.."

Sure fire sign that someone's interested in you; they ask you a simple, three word question.

"Are you single?"

It doesn't matter how casually they phrase it, or how at ease you're feeling talking to this particular person. It doesn't matter if they're in a relationship, or butt-ugly.

They've got you thinking. You're calculating, figuring out if it would be worth it to string it along with this person for a while, or if you should cut them off now. But at the same time you are faced with the obvious decision between the truth & a lie. You either tell them you're in a relationship or you tell them you're not. It's simple, but it's a hard question to answer.
What if you don't want to be single, but you don't want to be single not with them. Say, somebody's got you absolutely head over heels in love with them, but they aren't your boyfriend/girlfriend. Then what do you tell them?

If somebody asks if you're single, they're asking for an insight into your life. A single teenager will most likely answer something along the lines of 'yeah, I'm single at the moment' & make out like they're loving it. Truth is, chances are they're not. But nobody's ever going to admit that.

My dilemma is trying to make it completely impersonal. Trying to show them that while I am single, I'm utterly not available. Because, to put it in completely hopeless romantics terms - my heart yearns for another. My shearer, gone out west. He's not mine, & he may never be but while I'm single I still have the chance. We have fun & we're best mates, that's good enough for me. I'm not going to ruin that by getting myself a boyfriend. So what am I meant to say? 'Yeah, I'm single. But, I'm in love with a shearer who lives in Dubbo & means the absolute world to me. You could never take his place so don't even bother trying.' ? For some reason I don't think that would win many hearts.

I mean, I'm not trying to be single all my life, after this one bloke. I'm not even trying to get a boyfriend. I want to be able to move on & have a normal life with a normal guy but I can't, because I stand every guy up next to him that asks me that question "Are you single?" & not a single one of them has won out yet.

I'm faced with being single for the rest of my days, missing my beautiful shearer man.

So when I'm asked; "Are you single?" I reply; "Yeah, loving life.", just in the vain hope that they'll think I'm having a lot of fun & couldn't be bothered being tied down by a boyfriend. & if one is persistent, I'll give him a chance. Knowing all along that he's not my shearer, but he's one alike, & he cares.

Yet another pointless journal. But it's not a poem, & it's not a story. It's thoughts & feelings, that didn't belong anywhere else. I figured, here was good enough.