Awkward Moments: Sexually Aroused Professors

Since I recently made use of the journal section on this site (and because I like to write long random stories on my profile), I decided to devote the rest of my journal entries to the awkward moments I've had to suffer thus far.

Starting with one that happened yesterday because I'm quite the magnet for awkwardness.

There I was, minding my own business, cursing at my computer and smashing the keyboard to pieces because my damn code wouldn't run properly. Then, I suddenly had the bright idea to go visit my professor and whine and complain and be a little bitch until he basically wrote the code for me (which he has done in the past, heh).

One thing you have to understand about my math professor is that he's...like a 12 year boy stuck inside a man's body. His understanding of everything academic is phenomenal and quite honestly, frightening, but everything else is strangely underdeveloped.

Like his social skills.

So as if that wasn't bad enough to add to the awkwardness, when he finally wrote the code for me, he began to go into a creepy trance about topology (something he does frequently also, whenever someone asks him about it since that's what he has his Ph.D in...).

At this point in his rambling (which I was only half-listening to because I didn't know what the hell he was saying), I suddenly remembered that one of my math professors from first year ALSO had a Ph.D in topology. Which led to me asking the stupidest question of all time:

"Oh, so you've met Dr. __________, then?" (Not going to include his name because...he's kinda well-known and I don't want you guys to know where I go to school lawl)

"Who?"

"He has a Ph. D in topology too. I thought you guys knew each other..."

At this point, he gave me a freaking heart attack because he LEAPT out of his chair and started shaking his hands violently like he has a seizure.

"Are you fucking serious??! WHAT WAS HIS DISSERTATION ON??!!"

"Uh..." And somehow, magically, I remembered that it was on four dimensional manifolds, or something messed up like that. I honestly have no idea how I even remembered that after all that time. "Something on four-dimensional manifolds...whatever that is."

"OMG!! THAT'S WHAT I DID TOO!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!"

And then he pretty much ran out of his office, presumably to go look for the other professor, but I was never fully sure what he went out to do. In any case, I sat there for a few minutes pissed off because he still hadn't helped me with my last problem because he was too busy have an orgasm over math.

And now, when he sees me, he gets this goofy smile on his face, like he's just pissed himself or something, because somehow I remind him of four-dimensional manifolds. So is it awkward that my professor practically gets a boner every time he sees me now?

Yes. Can't wait until this term is over.

So now I'm curious: What's YOUR awkward moment? Hopefully it's more awkward than mine so I can feel better about going to class without a paper bag over my head.
June 15th, 2011 at 06:22am