#1

I dont know whats wrong with me!! I went from a happy little girl who had *true* smiles everywhere she went, to a depressed teenager who doesnt know who she is anymore! It started around 5th grade, when one moment i would have a smile and the next tears coming down my face. It really started to make a difference in 6th grade when, my best friend that I have known since kindergarten, leaft me! But I got two new friends, but their, drug addicts, cutters, and they are a bunch of bitches who lie! In 7th grade, it got way worse(in my opinion). Thats when I started talking to thin air, arguing with myself, and crying almost everyday. Half the reason why i cried so much is, my grandpa passed away, 14 day before my birthday. Thats wheni started doing damaged to myself. I attempted cutting(didnt work at first), had little thoughts about sucide. soon after that, my first cut came, it was with safety siccors(not too safe tho). I became addicted not soon after that. Just little ones at first, then came the horrific day when I made one that leaft a scar. That happened over 4 1/2 months ago, and it just recently dissapeared about a week ago. I then got influenced by one of my friends to snort. So I did. Dont worry! It was only pixie stix, but it still messed with my head. I'ma try to write every sunday so yeah. See you next week.....