Face down-red jumpsuit apparatus

I first started listening to RJA when I was 7. My favorite song by them was "your gardian angel". That same year, was the year my step dad came around. He was just my moms boyfriend, and we lived in a small appartment, but he was always over. He was very nice, and loved rock and roll. He was nice to talk to, and he made my mom very happy. When I was 9, he and my mom got serious and decided to move in together. It was me&my sister in one room, my brother in his own, and my step brother in his own. The night we moved in, my step dad invited his cousin over for a beer. The one beer kept getting to be more and more, when finally he was DRUNK. The highest amount of intoxication i'd ever seen. He started arguing with my mother. It was rediculous, because no one knew why they were arguing. He punched my mom in the eye, and gave her a black eye, and then pushed her down the steps. My brother ran up the stair and punched my step dad in the mouth punching three of his teeth out.
These arguments became so usual it was rediculous at this point, if my mom left him, we'd have no house, no car, and no food.
Every time he wasn't intoxicated, he'd ussually be listening to music. When he'd do that, I'd always listen with him, and I'd put on "face down, by red jumpsuit apparatus." He'd always tell me how much he hated the song, but he'd still take the time to listen to it.
One time, it was late, on a school night, and he and my mother were having an argument. Hitting and hurting her was once again involved. I woke up to them arguing and got so pissed off. I took out my iPod and blasted "FAce down". i locked my door. My step dad ran up the steps yelling and punched a hole in my bedroom door. "AMY TURN IT OFF" my mom yelled. So i did.
When i was 10, he purposed to her. She said yes. They were going to get married in June, 2010. But the day befor Easter, in 2010, they were arguing. He once again, pushed my mom down the steps. My sister ran downstairs and grabbed a bag of home videos from when i was a baby and when my mom was pregnant and stuff. She hit him and she told me to come with her. Her boyfriend picked us up and we hung out there. On easter, my sister ran out of her boyfriends house. I was playing with his little brother and my sister was crying. She told me to stay there and she'll be back later. Later that day she told me the news. My step dad hanged himself.
When i saw my mom, she was devistated. We weren't invited to his funeral, because according to his family, we were the cause. We were murderers to them. We had to move into a small aptment. And we have a crappy car now. I had to switch schools to one of which i hate and i fail at. Me and my sister are very close now, but if it were up to me i wouldn't talk to my mom. I feel awkward, and angry, and annoyed around her.
Every time I hear the song "facedown", i cry. It brings back the dreadful memoried of him. It makes me remember my old school, my old friends, my old family. It makes me think how tragedies bring families together sometimes, but my brother moved out and won't speak to us, i rarely talk yoto my mother, and my sisters more of a mom to me then she is. I love the song "face down" but iyt is the story of what i watched happen in my home my whole childhood.