My letter to you. So glad you don't know how I feel. NOT.

Dear Cole,

Today was just like the past week. I thought about you. You’re on my mind 24/7, do you know that? I couldn’t even go to sleep last night because I was crying so much. I wish you knew that I felt this way, and then maybe you would at least send me a text saying “hey.” I really want to get to know you, Cole. Even if it’s just as a friend. Because honestly, I’m sick and tired of crying. And not knowing if you even just have a small thought of me. Hell, even when someone mentions something related to liking a person or wanting to be with someone, I tear up. It’s all because of you. Your face is etched into my mind. Like when I saw you in person for the first time. Yeah Braums, really classy huh? Haha. But even with your dorky purple hat and lame apron, I still thought you were absolutely breathtaking. Oh gosh, I really hope you didn’t think I was fat for being so intent on getting ice cream first. Honestly, I just wanted a chance to talk to you. You’re way cuter in person, just saying. Well no, you look REALLY cute in your pictures too, but seeing you in the flesh was way better.
I just keep thinking to myself, how can a girl like me get a guy like you? Well, I can’t. Obviously. I don’t know you personally, but I’ve heard SO many great things about you, Cole. You’re nice to everyone, you’re quiet but opinionated. That is me, too. I know you don’t realize it, but we have a lot in common. You just never took the time to get to know me. I know for sure I’m not the prettiest or skinniest girl out there. But I can love you like no one else can. I PROMISE. I haven’t have the best of luck with staying with the same guy for a while, but I feel that you’re different. And the worst part of all of this? None of my friends or family understand it. I can’t discuss how much I like you with them, because they think it’s something stupid. Maybe it is, and I’ll laugh about it in the future. But right now, it’s terrible. Absolutely terrible.
I really want to know how much guys actually know about what goes on through a girls’ mind. How much girls’ actually cry over you guys, because to be honest, and I don’t know if this is for every girl, it’s a lot. Do you know how many times I’ve cried over you today? More than I should. I’ve cried almost 5 times today. And that’s just the major waterworks, not the few tears that roll down my cheeks. These are some of my favorite lyrics to that… Set my pride to the side, tear me open, look inside. Just to see how many times you’ve really made these eyes cry. I let you in and gave you pieces, I’m quick to stumble, pain increases. I’ve also looked up about 100 heartbreak songs today. It’s pretty pathetic, but it helps. You know, it seems like so many of the heartbreak quotes I find go along with what I feel for you. It’s sick to me.
I think everyone was getting sick of me talking about you this weekend. And you don’t know this, well maybe you do because Maddie told you, but we stalked your house today. Yeah, got out the Garmin and looked along the whole Morningside street asking Maddie if anything looked familiar. I told everyone out loud how utterly creepy this was, but secretly I wanted to go knock on your door and when you answered, just kiss you. I have no guts though.
So I hope if you ever think of me, even for just a second, you’ll text me up just for a casual conversation at the least. Because it would be way better than going through not hearing from you at all.

I’m falling for you, okay?
…Lindsey

P.S. I’m crying while writing this, and I wish you would text me so I can stop, because maybe it would help a little bit. Crying sucks, you know? It’s also raining, and I usually love rain. But that’s when I have someone to enjoy watching it with me. Just cuddling there and not thinking about anything except each other. But I don’t have that right now. I guess we don’t always get what we want right? Oh, and my absolute favorite saying is “you always want what you can’t have.” That’s true 100%, isn’t it? But you wouldn’t know this, would you?