Patrick

You know, i'm risking a shit ton by putting that as my title. Because my title is about a person. And I have no clue if this person is on here or not. But this person, Patrick. He's someone that I consider a friend. A close friend. We've been talking since last like, October. And I mean it. Talk. We've never met. He lives in Canada. I live in America. Anyways, He's fucking awesome in, every way. He's the only guy i've ever been able to talk to about the things we talk about I won't put what these things are. But hes even told me, he only tells 'certain' people' things. And TRUST me, I'm not this certain people he's talking about. Almost everything he says, I find sweet. Haha. For our "1 year of friendship anniversary" He's making a Vagina cake with strawberry filling. It's going to say, Happy Anniversary P and A. Not most people find that type of thing, sweet. But if you knew him, or knew our "Relationship" with each other, you would. Also, In four years when I'm done with High School, me and my friend are moving to Canada. That parts true. But the part that may and may not happen, Is we live with him. We've talked about it. Jokingly. But hey, If I need a place, I'd hope he'd be generous enough. I would be.
I feel like i've met him. I feel like we've hung out in person. I know i'm going to get horrible comments for writing this. Because people will think he's fake. Or will ask how I know he's not fake. We've skyped. Obviously, he's not fake. I've even called him on the phone. Kinda...It was more of a prank call. XD But my point of this journal is. I like him. More than i've ever liked someone. I can be myself when I talk to him. I don't pretend. We're open to each other. But the thing is. He doesn't know. Know that I like him. And he'll NEVER know, unless I know what he thinks about me. Unless of course, he DOES have a mibba, and reads this. Another reason I won't, and can't tell him. He likes my friend. Whether she'll admit it or not. He does. The way he talks about her. The things he says he wishes he could do to her. He's called her pretty and stuff before. But never to me. One time, he said "Who's the sexy bitch in your profile picture?" (No, I don't find that offensive, That's just Patrick for you.) I told him me. And he didn't believe me. At first. And I told him I thought I was ugly, Which I do. He said I wasn't. But that doesn't mean he was calling me pretty. That means he just thinks i'm not ugly. I don't know. Maybe i'm crazy for felling the way I do. I just wish I knew how he felt. And as a side note to this, I went to this VBS thing with my cousin. There was this guy named Timmy there. He looked JUST like Patrick. It was amazing!! I felt like I was with him the whole week. Except this Patrick didn't cuss and talk about what 'my' Patrick talks about. ANYWAYS, we played a game where you had to hold hands with the person beside you. I was beside Timmy. Sadly, I imagined Patrick. Then Timmy was like "We have to lock arms, we'll have a better grip.' FUCK! I mean, I told you I imagined Patrick, So locking arms was fucking amazing for me. But tell me, HONESTLY, am I stupid for feeling this way? Am I wrong for "thinking" of Patrick when Playing that game? -Aaliyah.