They Say, "Talk", but Then They Don't Want to Listen.

Dear Journal,
I'm sick of this. I'm sick of bottling everthing inside but I have to! I have to hold it in. If I cry they worry and it causes problems. If I talk about it they ignore the saddness and pain and walk away. I don't get it. If they want me to talk so much why won't they just listen!!! Why is it so hard to listen to me?? Why do they ignore what's right infront of their faces?! HE'S DEAD. There's not much else to it. He's dead and nothing will ever change it. So why do they avoid the truth like a plague. I know why; because they don't want to feel the unavoidable pain. They don't want to feel what I feel. If I tell them how I feel they will feel what I feel. I know I'm not making sense but this is what happens every time. People just want me to forget everything. They want me to forget him. But I will NEVER forget him. I couldn't even forget him if I tried. They all think that if they erase any trace of him, I won't remember what happened. Oh, but I will remember! I could never forget. NEVER. Do you hear that?!?! NEVER!!!!!! Oh why does it hurt so much? Why do I have to feel this way. Why couldn't God have taken me instead? I miss the way he made me feel. I miss his cheesy pick up lines and he's silly personality. I miss his love and his happiness. I miss the way he apraised me when I did something as simple as cleaning the kitchen. Or how he'd tell me to relax when I had so much work to do. I miss the times that he was proud of me. I miss his gentle, loving, sweet heart. I miss hearing 'sweetheart' whenever I talked to him. I miss him.

-Nicole. </3