Skinny girls.

A Problem, by me.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl called me and after many years of thinking of being the only one who thought she was very nice and very funny, she finally met a boy who agreed with her. Or that she tricked into thinking it was true, we're not quite sure on the details.

Anyway, these two - me and the boy - were madly, passionately in love. They were the real deal. Great laughs, amazing sex, both very beautiful people.

One tiny problem. His ex girlfriend was one skinny ginger haired anti social twat. And the beautiful heroine, whilst not fearing the boy's love would waver for a moment, couldn't help feeling rather elephantine in comparison. And rather childishly dealt with it by telling the boy she was going to write a poem about the ex girl, ("What rhymes with runt?...what rhymes with stick?...What rhymes with banker?") and so on in a very mean and bitter way.

I have to admit that I despise the fact she was thin. Everyone says she's not that thin. If I heard she was funny or even clever or trendy, I wouldn't care, because I could outwit, outsmart and out'fit' her (see what I did there?) anytime, anyday.

But being thin is a problem. Especially as when I bumped into her I was wearing several layers and grey tights with black shoes and had sex hair. Not very attractive.

I don't care what she thinks of me. I know he'd never go off with anyone else (between you and me, I'm pretty certain we're like Jack and Sally).

So why is it that a skinny ex girlfriend can make you feel like 20 billion stone?