It really hurts

I feel the need to start cutting again, but I'm not going to. I'm just going through a tough time right now and I really need a friend. I know this sounds really pathetic, but i'm basically drowning in my own tears. My best guy friend is dead. He's the one who stopped my cutting in the first place. The thing is, I was in love with him. No one will ever know and neither will he. He had a rough home life and I helped him through it, so I guess we helped eachother. The main thing is, I loved him so much.
I love you Matt, more than you will ever know.