Drowning in Guilt

Being adopted I never have felt comfortable asking my adoptive parents to buy me things. I never asked for an iPod or a phone or a computer they just gave them to me as presents over the years. Which was great because I felt like it would be asking for too much. They bought me a car and pay for the gas and insurance and they are paying for my college too. It seems great to all my friends who have to pay for a lot of things themselves but it makes me feel horrible inside. I hate asking for gas money or money for anything. If I do need money I just ask my dad, he is so nice and so caring. But my mother, is a whole other story. One day she'll say it's not problem to buy me dance shoes for the musicals or a new vera bradley wallet and the next she'll say I never pay for anything and I have no incentive to work. I just wish she wouldn't be such a hypocritical b*tch all the time. She makes me feel a million times worse about asking for things. I feel so guilty all the time. I finally found a job and everything was going great but there have been some problems with paper work and permits. My mother is of course blaming these issues on me and is saying I am using it as an excuse not to work. I tried to explain to her how I felt but she refused to listen. People always told me how lucky I was to be adopted into a family that could give me a better life. But sometimes I feel like I would have been better off living with my not so well off family instead of feeling guilty all the time.