daddy and 'The Ring'

i am scared of only two things:
the movie 'The Ring' and my biological father. i saw the movie when i was six so it still scares the hell out of me. my daddy and i haven't heard from each other in months, and for that i am grateful. he ruined my life. we got through with court in january. thank goodness.
"it's finaly over" mom said after court. but it's not and never will be. i cant stop thinkin bout him and hate sleeping, dreaming, thinking, feeling, and existing... i just wish for the end of it all. it's exhausting, physically and mentally. i pace back and forth at the bus stop before school every morning, searching the roads for his car. i'm not JUST scared of him himself, i'm afraid he'll come back for me all pissed off. and i HATE feeling helpless. i'm kind of just writing stuff down as i think of it.