It's been a while, How yah been? :)

I have been single for about 17 years.
and I am tired of it.

I want a boyfriend to hang out with and hold hands with and just be around.
And it is frickin' hard to find one!
and I try and flirt with boys...and it doesn't work....
and I'm not sure what I do wrong...or what I am not doing at all?
and I would be very thankful for some help... (:

Soooooooosince i am a bit of a failure in this area....
Anyone have any..
Tips?
Advice?
Things not to do under any circumstances?
Anything at all that might help?
Pleeeeeease, pretty pleease! help? (:

It would be greatly appreciated, and I would forever thank you(: