=( WHAT AM I DOING WRONG

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG!!!! Every time i think something is not important its something important, every time i try to fix it it gets worse, every time i think something is going great it goes HORRIBLY WRONG GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know me sitting here and complaining isn't going to help anything but i just want to know the truth. First i miss my first REAL PARTY AND IN MY 18 YEARS OF LIVING I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO A PARTY, the girl i thought was my bff who really isn't is telling me the guy i waited for for 2 months said that me and him are not together, when i open up to family they take what i tell them really big i mean the way i describe to them makes it seem bad and the truth is.............OK to me its bad to me any way but i just cant take it iv lied to my family PLENTY of times and they lied to me to I'm 18 and i still don't act like ME i don't know whats wrong I'm to afraid to let go of all my inhibition cause I'm to scared of what might happen and when i do let it go it still goes wrong its like I'm not meant to have fun. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME WHAT AM I DOING WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!