Dear Mom,

Dear Mom,

This letter is going to be a lot harder to write. I’m already choking up writing this. I feel like such a f*cking shitty person not thinking about you more. The truth is I can’t remember much. I was eight when you died and it broke my heart. No, it shattered my heart into little pieces. You know that I was a momma’s girl. I used to cry when you left me at class. The day you died was one of the most miserable days of my life. I’d do anything just to see you one more time. I can’t help but cry every time I write about you or talk to you or even think about you. I’m the worst daughter and I know it. I remember watching a movie where the mom died of cancer and I turned to you in tears and asked if you were going to die and you said no. I remember every detail of the night you died even if it was just a blur. After you died, I blamed you and I feel horrible about it. Then I blamed God and then myself. After you died I went on the road to self destruction. I miss you with every fiber. I love you forever and just writing about you is hard considering i’m trying to hold back tears.

Love your heartbroken daughter Alexis.