There's no distance I wouldn't drive, no force to push my love aside<3

You know that my parents don't like the idea of us being together. You know that I absolutely hate hiding things from anyone. The way I feel around you makes me want to make everyone see that you aren't the person they think you are.

We've gone through a lot this year. When we weren't together I didn't know what to do. I was completely turned around. See, you're my best friend. You know that I'm not one to call someone that unless I can honestly trust them. You know everything in my heart. You know the things no one else will ever know. There will never be another that knows me or sees me like you.

We've both matured like crazy. I've never been in a relationship where I could trust the person. They always trusted me. They gave me everything but I gave them nothing. I felt they didn't deserve me, I didn't think I could love someone. Both of us are from divorced parents. You could say that it got to me. And I know that you got to grow even a few years with your parents together. I grew up with my grandparents. And you know how dysfunctional they are. So I thought if this is the way it is, there's no point in me trying if I'll just end up miserable.

The thing is, I was miserable. I never allowed myself to be vulnerable. Didn't want to be. I met you when I was 15. You were 13. If you were a celebrity, I would have been star struck. For the longest time, you were on my mind. I always wondered what you were up to. I didn't see you for several years. Then by chance, you asked me to be yours. I didn't think it'd last long. I figured I'd be the broken-hearted boy that I had beaten down so many times. And you'd play my role. The heart breaker. And you did break my heart... Several times but every time I'd let you come home.

I used to have complete faith in you. I trusted you without a doubt... You do understand because of that incident, it's hard to now. Well, except around Jay cause that would be just weird... It hurt. A lot. And I worry everyday that it'll happen again. But... When I'm with you, I feel so much better. I feel safe, loved, I just simply feel good. I'm trying to trust you again. And I know you're trying to gain my trust. You know it isn't easy to do that.

You know that I'm stubborn as hell and it takes a lot. I'd absolutely love to be by your side for the rest of my life. I don't want anyone else. I know that you don't like fighting and you hate when we get upset with one another. Honey, it'll happen anywhere and anyway we are. That's how we grow stronger. Just remember what I told you that night when we were on the back deck and we were both crying holding each other... I love you. Through thick and thin. No matter what happens, I'll love you for the rest of my life. I'll be holding you. I don't want anyone else but you.

I still can't help but to hurt... I'm scared it'll turn back on me, to be completely honest. I'm scared I'll be left alone again to pick myself back up. It took me three months to stop crying for hours on end. I just cried for a couple of hours. It took that long to be able to put a smile on even when I wanted to die. I don't want to do this again. I don't want to have to force myself to make it through one day.

I love you. I always will. Please, Steven, please don't hurt me this time. >.<