Lost

There is this vast loneliness I face, every day. And I’m tired of pretending it’s not there. I’m exhausted of acting like I care about anything anymore. I can’t stand to do anything but lay here and do nothing, think nothing. I can’t do more than curl up in bed and stare into space, wondering if this emptiness will always be here, in the back of my mind. I don’t enjoy my friends or family anymore; behind my smiles, I’m not even there. I’m gone. I’m lost, and I don’t want to be found. Because being lost is all I’m good at. I'm alone. But I deserve to be lost and alone. I'm unfindable and unlovable.