Getting Weaker

Dear Journal,
I feel as if I am moving backwards like this is getting even harder to handle even though it's been two months. I feel like I am hurting more then I did in the beginning. I am hurting so much and I don't know what to do. Everything is closing in on me. My world is falling aprat. Steph found me crying today. She wants to tell my parents that I'm still upset about it. They can't know though because it will cause them problems they don't need right now. They are stressed out as it is and I can't bare to show them how much pain I really am in. Plus if they know they'll put me on anti-depressants and send me to a shrink. My heart hurts like a huge whole was cut out of it. I don't know where to go from here. It was exactly two months yesterday but it feels like an eternity. I miss him more than anything and now I can't even think about what lays ahead tomorrow much less my future. I'm only a sophmore in highschool; I shouldn't have these problems, should I? Do you ever feel like you are all alone, that it's you against the world with no one on your side? I do. I know though that God is on my side. He's my new bestfriend. He's all I have left now. I know that he is the only thing for certain in this world besides death. I can't even imainge not believeing in Him. It would be such a lonely world without God here to guide me. For now though I'm counting my blessings and taking on life one day at a time. In the end I will be free from this hurt but right now all I can do is face it and hope for the best. Goodnight Journal.
-Nicole.