Rant #4: Why do I have to need you so much when you're away at a concert?!

My mom has lately been finding it hard to grasp that I'm a regular human being and that I'm not perfect.

I feel like a complete idiot for doing so, but I'm still hurting over the guy who lied to me, and I still feel sick to my stomach when I think about how he does drugs, and how that makes it even more stupid for me to be upset that things didn't work out between us. I mean, I don't agree with drugs or drinking or anything like that, so I should be glad, right? But I'm not.

The guy who used to be one of my best, closest guy-friends is completely ignoring me and doesn't care about me at all anymore. Great.

A friend of mine who moved away three months ago was in town, and we planned to meet up. I waited at our meeting spot for half an hour, then called his house. His grandfather told me he was asleep. I mean, he and I weren't super close or anything, but still...it sucked.

I lately feel like one of my best friends would much rather spend time with her other friends than me, considering that she's made lots of time for them this summer, but not once have the two of us hung out just together.

And the guy who has become one of my best friends, who is like a big brother to me, who always watches out for me, who has never once hurt me or lied to me, who I can always turn to or talk to about absolutely anything, who I want to call or email right away and just talk to him because I know he'll make me feel better....That guy is away at a concert.

And I haven't seen him since May 31st.

Almost two months.

I mean, I have other people that I can talk to, but he just has this way of instantly making me feel better that I love. And I miss him so much, like it's brutal. I wish I could see him way more, like every day if that were possible. I wish I could drive to his house and just do something dorky and play Call of Duty or bake cookies or just sit and talk. I just want to see him. I miss him so much....

So, because I'm a loser, I'm writing a Mibba Journal about how much I miss that kid.

Wow. I'm cool.