Sixth sense?

If you've read my last journal entry, you'll know that I'm deeply upset that my old friend is still missing after his tin boat capsized in the Murray River monday afternoon, and is still missing.

Last night, laying in bed, with two blankets over me, several pillows piled around me and my electric blanket set on high, I wasn't able to warm up. I felt as though my body was cold on the inside. Then around 4am, it felt as though a cold hand had grabbed mine. So I closed my hand as if to hold theirs. I couldn't fully close my hand, like there actually was a hand in mine, and I could literally feel their fingers intertwined with mine. My hand felt tight, and started pulsating, as if whoever was holding my hand was frightened, and panicking. As the tears started to fall from my eyes, I said a little prayer, and slowly the hand in my own became warmer, but I could still feel the grip it had on mine.

Nathan, I know that it was your hand I was holding. For the 3 hours I slept, I slept holding your hand, hoping that wherever you are, I could give you that little bit of comfort and strength to find your way to safety. I slept holding your hand as tight as I could, because I felt as though if I let go, it would mean saying goodbye. I'm not ready for that.

I'm still praying for you Nathan. Please, come home safe.

- Kahli Azure Ishbel, xoxo.