Life.

Life feels so mundane and slow lately; I feel like i'm just going day to day, not really living. This summer was supposed to be fun and crazy and full of adventure, but it's turned out to be the exact opposite. I've barely left the house, i've only seen 4 of my friends. I just have no motivation to do anything- I don't feel the need to go out or see anyone. That sounds awful, but I just feel so lifeless lately. I don't even know what brought the feeling on, it just kinda hit me after we got out of school in June. I feel like i've drifted away from all of my friends- i've barely talked to any of them, except my two best friends. I think we're all changing here before senior year, and it really sucks. I understand that people change & that there's nothing at all that you can do, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
The fact that senior year is quickly approaching is not helping one little bit. I'm so stressed and worried and just upset. I'm not ready to be a senior and graduate and go off to college. I mean, I do want to experience new things and meet new people and stuff, but I feel so scared to have to leave everything that i've ever known. I've lived in the same small town my whole life, with the same people, and a change in my routine is gonna be hella scary. Speaking of college, I don't have a clue how my parents will afford to send me. I want to go to Arizona State so, so, so badly, but it's $22,000 a year because I live out of state. I have my heart set on ASU, and it sucks to know that I won't be able to go to my dream college. Being over 2,000 miles away from this place sounds so scary, but it also sounds exciting- I feel like I need a change in life. I need to experience something new and different. I suppose i'll have to settle for one of the N.C. state universities, and I plan to go to the one that's furthest away from home. I am scared to leave and face the unknown, but i'm also ready to grow up.

Despite everything, i'm gonna listen to what The Summer Set says- "Everything's Fine."
=)