So here is to the other friend that I miss dearly....
I was about to start my freshman year of high school and well I was scared. i had my friends there who were starting at the high school with me but hey it's still scary. In our church there was a family who had moved there a year before so there middle daughter was joining our youth group and she and I were pretty close, since our mom's were in choir together. Well the summer before high school, my friends older brother came to live with her. So he would be starting at the same high school as me. He was super shy and I had talked to him a few times but nothing major. Well once school started and we got into the swing of things, my friends and I were in lunch one day and I saw Sean sitting by himself. We bought our lunches and then asked if we coul sit with him. From that day on we always sat together. It was always us. Soon we started hanging out at church more and Sean and I became really good friends. He was always hanging out with us in the hallways when we could. Then the new semester came and somehow we had a class on the same hall. We had a system. I would be at my locker getting my books and he would put his books in his classroom and then join me at my locker and then walk me to my class. After I put my books down, we would go grab something to eat, in a machine. Then we would stand around for awhile with my friends and just talk. How things were back then with some classes you had one for 9 weeks and then another for the other 9 weeks. So the 2nd nine weeks came and this time my class was in our band room which was outside. Sean still walked me to class. You could say that I was begining to really like him. So many things were happening between us. But then sophmore year came and he was a senior and somehow we still had lunch together. So all I heard from him was how he wanted to join the army and all I could think of was how I didn't want to lose him and that he could be killed. I was scared, I mean this was my best guy friend, talking about leaving. I had shared with him things that I didn't tell anyone else. We both had terrible relationships with our dads and so I was trusting him. I loved the time i had with him. I remember this time that he was learning to drive and well he had a wreck in his driveway. I was sitting behind him in his mom's van and she and his two younger sisters were in the van too. Even though it was scary at the time, now all I can do is smile at that memory. But Sean got a girlfriend in the winter of his senior year. I was crushed. I mean here I was, his friend of a year and half that really liked him, and he starts liking this girl that is new to our church. After that nothing was the same. He left the church with her family, after moving in with her family. I never really talked to him again. After he graduated, I saw him one time when we both working at the local hospital. That was the last time. But then my senior year of high school, he and I started talking again on Myspace (when it was cool to use) and unfortunetly he was living with his dad in Texas. We were slowly becoming friends. He told me then that he was pursuing the Army. I was sad, because I mean I was still afraid of never seeing him again. So I accepted it. After he got out of basic, he was visiting his mom before he left again. I learned from his grandmother that he was indeed coming home and he would be coming to the church one night. The night came and I was so nervous. I hadn't talked to him face to face in nearly 2 1/2 years. But we talked a little. When I said goodbye to him, it was the last time I ever saw him.
Six months later I was about to start the 2nd semster of my freshman year in college. It was my nineteenth birthday. It had been a crazy day. I just moved into a new room so the sink had overflown and it was awful. So I had been stressed about that and one of my friends was upset with me. So I was sitting in my room, getting ready for the next day. I got a text from my youth pastor he text everyone in our youth group to let us know that Sean had been killed. Killed in Iraq, where he had only been for a few months. I was crushed and thought it was a mistake. It was worse than David's death. I was thankful for one of my friends that was at college with me from my hometown, that got the same text. He came to my dorm and held me as I cried, There we were in the middle of my dorm lobby and I was crying like crazy. The worse was that I never got to go to Sean's funeral. It seemed like with David's I knew that he was dead because i saw his body laying there. But with Sean, I never had that closer. So to this day I will catch myself, thinking that he will come back and I will get a call that it was a mistake, but I have been to his grave. I know that it isn't a mistake. My biggest regret with Sean is that I didn't try. He hurt me when he got his girlfriend so I shut him out.
I guess we all have regrets when it comes to people that we have lost. I hate to think that I will never see David or Sean here on earth. But the cool thing for me, is that David's death resolted in me placing my trust in Jesus and I know that I will be when I die. And somehow, God gave me a great gift when it came to Sean, Sean, his sister, and I plus some others, all became believers the same D-Now weekend and we all stood before the church. I know that with out a doubt that I will see them again. They will be there with my Savior and my Heaven Father.
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