Old pain can still sting.

I've been through a ton of crap recently, and I was put on medication for it. I'm still on my anti-depressants, and I probably will be for a long time. I know that I'm not normal, and I knew I needed help. I was to the point where I couldn't even get up in the morning because it was just too hard. My ex-boyfriend whom I had given everything to and spent a lot of time and energy on for over a year, broke my heart, and dumped me. He had a new girlfriend barely three days later. I fell apart, and I'm still trying to heal. The whole point of this entry is that stuff that happened to you in the past that really hurt you, can come back in your present and take your breath away and make you feel utterly empty.

This exact thing happened to me tonight while I was at work. I still feel pretty upset about it, even though I've forgiven the person. A couple of us were messing around in the stock room trying to move the furniture so that every thing would fit right, and I guess my friend and I pissed our manager off, and he temporarily forgot that there were girls present, and he just said, "All right fat fucks, move." My jaw just instantly fell, and I could not believe he had said that. This manager, is my all time favorite guy. I got really upset, and I just walked away. Like I said, I forgave him because he apologized to me a lot. I appreciate that. It just, it really stung because I know that I'm overweight, and I'm still trying hard to fix that, and I have lost weight. Just really lowered my esteem because of how much crap I have taken.