Breathing is no longer allowed.

It's getting hard to sleep, to breath, and most of all to be me. I look at all these pictures and I keep thinking who is this person? That cant be me. The nights are now dying, I sleep but soon I wake up screaming and crying. Each day my heart is repaired but then immediately broken, how is it that this one person can do all this. One moment I will love him, then I hate him, finally I cry.

The storms are coming, the sun is gone from the sky. Dark clouds start to form and the smiles start to die. I will sit in this chair and watch. I will watch these storms with amusement, I will cry in that chair for hours. These walls fall down, leaving me in the cold dark storm. The winds will pick up, the lighting gets deadly, and the rain starts to poor. The ground has disappeared, I have found myself holding on to the chair as it spins. It spins so fast that I know I will fall off, but I still hold on. I know that when I fall there will be no more coming back. That chair will no longer be there, that room will be black forever, and the storms will not stop. 
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Hey, it's 11:21pm. I can't sleep my mind is spinning. Maybe just maybe I should walk away but the thought of me leaving just breaks my heart. If I could say one thing to him it would be why, not through text. It must be face to face, only problem is that I am scared.
I need advice:
This guy has made me cry, hate myself, and so much more. But honestly I can not walk away from him. I might be in love with him and I think that is wrong. What do you think? Should I stay and accept these feelings or walk away and never talk to him again.
August 3rd, 2011 at 06:26am