Debating On My "Delete Account" Strategy || Depression|| Question

Wow.

So..I'm on this other site, right? And Admin told me to report something that someone had said in the open chat a few days ago. Naturally, I did. I mean, Admin told me to! Don't ever go against an Admin if you want to stay on the site, right? Well...I make the report and get off the site for a while since I was still very offended by what happened.

Well...I get on later that night and one of the members in the chat immediately whispers me about how I was so immature and that if I couldn't handle being on the site then I should just leave and all of that stuff. Now..I pride myself on maturity because I had to grow up fast. My Maturity is what has gotten me so far so I pride myself on it and to be called immature, childish and told that I can't "handle" something as simple as a rude member.

All in all...I felt like Sh*t
And yeah. I considered leaving.

So today, I log on and go into the chat. neither of the two members I've had problems with are on. So I'm chilling in chat room and someone privately IMs me. Its another member who I've repeatedly asked to chat with me in open chat since I don't know him. Well..He starts on me calling me nasty names and just trying to make me feel bad.

Needless to say...It worked.
___

So, I went and deactivated the account which is just being hidden so that no one can see your account. Basically it's like disappearing. I am now debating whether or not I should just e-mail Admin and ask them to just erase my account completely. I know that if I don't I'll go back on and I'm not too sure how much more of it I can stand. It's like the little family I was apart of disowned me. I don't like the feeling..

On another note: I have slipped into a kind of depression again where I feel like I'm going to cry because of every little thing and I have gotten to the point where I need to hurt myself in order to stay sane. My family is full of gender discrimination and unnecessary drama and bullsh*t. I have only two friends who are both tearing my heart apart because I've developed feelings for them both. Mibba has died (not that I have many friends here either) and I'm booting myself off that site. I can't stand knowing that I'm going to continuously feel lonely.

I don't like Depression. :(
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Questions
1) How are you today?
2) how is the weather?
3) Planning on updating stories today?
4) Dogs or cats?
5) Do you hate depression?
August 3rd, 2011 at 11:09pm