I don't know what to do, Mibba.

If you've clicked on this journal, then be prepared for ranting just spewing from my mouth. I normally never write journals on here unless I seriously have to just let everything off my chest, so that's what I'm about to do. Or it's what I'm going to try to do. I tend to have trouble putting my thoughts into words.

I've liked my best friend for almost a year now. I didn't become extremely close to him until about six months ago though. I used to feel like I could tell him anything and everything until he told his girlfriend (who I've hated since I ever met her a few years ago) that I was cutting myself. He was the only one I told, and I don't necessarily blame him. I mean... He was worried about me, and just needed to vent. But it pretty much destroyed me on the inside, considering I already had trust issues. I'd like to say I'm over it now, but I don't trust him at all anymore. Anyway, that's beside the point, just a little background information.

I start school again in approximately three weeks. The year before, my best friend left me to go to a different school, and I was truly devastated, but I knew I'd survive because I still had my two other best friends to endure my first year of high school with. Since then, one of those "best friends" has stabbed me in the back and I don't intend to ever speak to her again, and the other is going to a different school in a different city. So now, I guess I only have him. I'm terrified that he's going to leave like everyone else. I found out a few weeks ago that his girlfriend had gotten jealous cause she thought that he liked me or something.

She didn't go to our school last year, and she's going to this year, and what if she starts getting jealous again? I'll be damned if the one girl I've hated for years is going to take away that last friend I have left. He's the only thing that's kept me relatively sane for a year, and I've never felt a connection with someone like this.

Long story short, I'm scared, Mibba. More scared than I've ever been for something as simple as school starting.