I can't stand myself sometimes, is there something wrong with me?

I know what I'm doing is wrong. I know it. Literally, as I do it, my brain is screaming at me to knock it the hell off, but I do it anyway. I don't know why.

When I did stop it, I felt horrible. I restrained myself from crying all the time. I can't help who I fall for, right? I know it'll never happen in a million years, but I continue anyway.

I feel horrible about myself.
What's wrong with me?

This journal makes no sense to any of you. But I love the journal section because I can get my thoughts out there.

I'm eating this entire bag of Doritas. I'm trying to lose weight, but fuck it, I'm in a bad mood and these chips taste good.