I don't know why -

I'm so goddamn attached to someone that's not even mine. I don't know how I let myself become so attached to someone who's heart doesn't even fully belong to me. I've become some what dependent on him and it honestly makes me want to cry. How could I have let myself do that?

I fell in love once. I fucked that up.

I think I'm falling in love again. The fact that I've been through so much with him makes it hard for me to walk away when I know damn well that I should have so long ago.

He doesn't want to hurt her. But does he realize he's hurting me so much more in the process? She's completely clueless - and you can all judge me all you want, but you can't stop how you feel - but I know every single thing that's going on. I wish I didn't.

There's so much that I wish I never knew. Never asked, never felt, never went through.

I'm not sure if I can do it anymore though, you know? I can't keep letting myself be vulnerable to someone who has the full potential to break me - and is slowly starting to do so with out having a single clue.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore, or how I even let myself get into this in the first place.

I want to go back when I didn't have this on my shoulder anymore.

I hate it. And I hate him for doing this to me.

I hate him.