A work in Progress....Me.

I just feel like speaking my mind, so here i go........

I know I am only 14, but........I grew up in my life wanting to do a hundred different things, thinking i was ugly, and i was naive and didnt know how to say no. I used to let people push me around and do everything they would tell me to.

Things happened, i thought this was supposed to happen. Even if they made me cry, i would think," now i am more like every other kid i know." But i never really knew how wrong i was.

I used to go back and forth between my mom and dad in albany, to my grandmas house in winston. Each time because my mom and dad got into these god--awful arghuments which just about always led to something worse. Which would make sadness. So my mom, me and little sister would pack what we could and drive a 45 minute, to hour drive to my grandmas. Once when i was a baby, i think. Once when i was in 3rd grade for a few weeks (whcih felt like months to me) And then just this last year. When i was 12. In november, my parents same ol same ol. Except this time, we actually stayed....... Its a long personal story. And i finished out my seventh grade here in winston. And my eighth grade year, and now im going into high school.

I used to think i was ugly, and that nobody would like me because of it. I thought that sincei was ugly that would affect my ability to get by in life or do what i wanted to do.Each year i would get something that i would think make me look more pretty. I got a straightener, i learned how to do my make-up. I started ot hang out with the prettier girls, and who were more popular. I felt like i belonged. but i always had the "out of style" Clothing, unless my grandma got me clothes when she came up to visit us in albany. My definition of pretty and popular might be different from everybody elses, but oh well. but now that i live in winston. I dont know... its changed me in so many ways which i dont understand. I mean how can moving somewhere else change you??? But i like the change. and i am happy that this is now who i am. I know now that its not all about good looks and popularity, but personalities and attitudes. and what type of crowd you want to hang out with......... Im glad to be me because i am actually trying now to achieve things. I tryed out for cheerleading hesitantly thinking i wasnt gonna like it or make it. but then i started to love it and i did make it. I am a cheerleader.

I am accomplishing one of the things i have always wanted to do which is be a cheerleader(:

Theres so much more i want to do, but im only starting my freshman year at Douglas, so yeaahh(:

I used ot hate my older sister for leaving us, but now since i know why she left i dont hate her and i am actually proud of her being storng and brave enough to do what she did.

and i am very happy i have such a great grandmother who has taken my little sister and i in and taken care of us for almost 2 years. I know it cant be hard,at ALL. Especially since shes done so much and i wouldnt ask for any other grandma. She might be tough and strict at times, but thats only because she cares and doesnt want anything to happen to us. She wants the best for us and she does the best she can, and i think she is doing a pretty dangg good jobb.

I love you guys(: