useless.

I worked all day to pay some more of my car insurance that I'll need for next year, seeing as I'm never going to have more than my temporary job.

I've saved about $250 in the past three weeks, and I have $90 to blow. (most likely I will buy a shit ton of merch at the All Time Low concert)

My mother is unable to do a lot, so I've been working around the house a lot more to show my appreciation. All the laundry, sweeping randomly, picking up after my parents, cooking, etc. (dishes are a given so they don't count). Then, of course, there's the script my friends want me to write for the movie, complaining I'm not done. No one's helped, and I have so many stories to work on when I'm not busy trying to stop myself from doing something stupid.

I am extremely worn out. Being rejected for The Voice with a stern "NO." and letting down my fans (family and friends, of course. still. I like to think I'm not shit.)... After fighting things that came back to me and talking myself into putting the knife down yet again, I'm now sitting on my bed alone as I do every night. I'm on tumblr, not texting, not IMing anyone. I'm too stressed out for much human contact anymore.

I give up.

they're not trying to contact me, that means they don't want me to talk to them.

I miss hugs. I miss hanging out. I miss not crying myself to sleep. I miss having the urge to sing or even just play my guitar anymore. I miss having things to look forward to. I miss turning on the news and seeing something about saved kittens, not fucking riots or mass murders or how America is going to shit.

I just want one fucking person to tell me it's okay.

no one has told me anything like that in two weeks, at least.
and with my paranoia...

well, looks like the iPod is about to die.

Everything's Fine. =(