I'm done lying to everyone. This is the real me.

When you read this you might change your mind about me, you might not talk to me anymore, or you'll just be done with me. At this point I really don't care I'm tired of lying to everyone, I am not that happy going girl that everyone thinks. Accept the truth or just leave me be.

4:00am while everyone is mostly sleeping, I am up thinking about my life. My fucked up, crazy ass, messed up life, and I just have this to say... All the things I did/almost did what the FUCK was I thinking!? I am so happy that I didn't do half the shit that I was dying to do. 4 years of my life I was beaten, broken, lied to, bullied, bitched at, stood up, fucked up, and just messed up. My "friends" stole 4 years of my fucking life. One guy made my freshman year a living hell he lied to me, stalked me, hurt me, controlled me, and ALMOST hit me. I put my trust, love, and life in his arms. After that relationship I couldn't trust anyone, I didn't believe in love anymore, I was so scared of love that I stop talking to ever guy I knew. 

Sophomore year, I am so thankful that I have my one friend who stood by me through it all. She was there when I need to talk, she didn't judge me or anything. She watched me as I fell, she listened to me while I cried, she saw everything I did and she is still my friend. If I didn't have her at all in sophomore year I bet you.. I wouldn't be where I am now. 

A chunk of sophomore year is a blur to be honest. I did stuff that I am not proud of, I started drinking a little, I shut off from the world, I started to ditch classes, I didn't give a fuck about anything, all my grades dropped, I stopped getting dressed because I was so depressed, I bitched at teachers, I blacked out during classes, I was so fucking depressed that I stopped eating, I slept in class, I lost so many friends, and most of all I lost myself. 

I have nothing else to say to be honest. I might lose a bunch of my friends over this, but you know what it's worth it. I'm tired of everyone thinking that I'm always happy and that my life is perfect. All the stuff you just read about me happened before I turned 16, there is so much more to say. It's better to know the real me, then to not know me at all. I love you, and if I lose you don't worry I understand. <3
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I really want to post this on my Facebook, but I'm scared.. Please please please I need help! Should I post it or not??