Street fighter in a nutshell and summarization of the characters

Street Fighter 2 More of Street Fuckers 2 was the brainchild of some guy named Konami. Then, a boy named Capcom bullied Konami into giving the game to Capcom and Capcom took all the credit. Originally, it was called Street Fighter, but no one cared so they added a 2 at the end. The objective of the game was to use Kung Fu on people of diverse races to defeat Hitler's father at the end of the game.

Everyone orgasmed when the game was released to arcades. It was eighty cents a game, but not even worth it.

Due to the popularity, Capcom decided they could milk this cash cow. Instead of releasing a sequel, like normal companies would, they decided to release copies of the same game. It worked well.

Then SNK was like "Hey, lets copy Capcom and make a shit load of boring fighting games filled with fap material!", and so they did. Capcom found out about this, so to counter attack they released Street Fighter III: The Next Generation. However, no one cared and still played Street Fighter 2. Then came Street Fighter III: Street Fighter 2. Wapanese fapped to the soundtrack in the back of arcades, but that's about it. Then after a massive amount of fan cum on their desk, Capcom stole SNK's stuff and made Street Fighter III: Pro Edition which poor ass Mexicans and Japanese play. It was a hit with the poor gangster types in America and is serious business in Japan.

And for all the animu fans, Capcom went to Squaresoft's doorstep, at first offering a partnership but in reality Capcom fooled Squaresoft into giving him all of his hentai DVDs. With these DVDs, Capcom created Street Fighter Alpha, filled with animu style characters for animu fans.

Stan Lee liked Street Fighter, but he thought his comic book heroes could beat the shit out of Street Fighter characters. Thus began the Marvel Vs. Capcom series, pitting Stan Lee and his minions vs. Capcom, and gained great success as Onslaught butt-raped a massive amount of Street Fighters, Mega Mans, and characters from several other series that no one gives a shit about. Then, Marvel vs Capcom 2 was created, in which Cable, Magneto, and Sentinel brutally destroyed Capcom's legions at full force. It is considered "the shit" by everyone in the arcade.

Later SNK was still butthurt from what Capcom did to them, so SNK challenged Capcom and thus began Capcom vs. SNK, where SNK lost. Then came Capcom vs. SNK 2: The Rematch and Capcom vs. SNK 2: The Xbox Rematch, SNK's strategy this time was to include multiple girls that would make Capcom basement dwellers fap all over their controllers. The plan succeeded for the most part but poor ass Mexicans and serious Asians brought Capcom to victory. SNK, even moar butthurt than before, had one last shot, they invited Capcom over as a peace offering, but it's a trap! SNK vs. Capcom: Chaos Rumble started, Capcom was outnumbered and thoroughly bloodied, but not beaten. Then SNK called up his good pal Yu-Gi-Oh!, and made three SNK vs. Capcom: Yu-Gi-Oh! Card Battle Edition games, although the games were only liked by 16 year old Japanese schoolgirls, and only basement dwellers bought the game.

Street Fighter 2 is still remembered to this day as having taken a huge chunk of your change and a small chunk of your life at the local arcade.

Street Fighter II

Ryu - The main protagonist of the series, he is the most overused character evar. Most players who use him are faggots who stand in the corner and Hadouken constantly until the timer runs out.

Ken Masters - Noobs use him because he's way cooler than Ryu, despite having the same exact movelist. He floods the Street Fighter IV servers with constant dragon punches and fireballs.

Chun-Li - Players praise her for her unique features not found in other characters. Nobody gave a shit about her until Street Fighter III, where she was the most overpowered character in the game. Street Fighter fans constantly masturbate to her larger than life thighs.

Guile - The generic "American badass", he is the most constantly developed character in the entire series, with a grand total of 2 special moves in every single fucking game. In Street Fighter III, he decides to stop being a family man and turn emo.

Blanka - Typical Brazilian citizen with orange spiky hair and green skin. A favorite among furries. His special move is electric rape.

Dhalsim - Smelly Indian who sucks at fighting and gets the shit beat out of him by the rest of the cast. Noone uses him. EVAR.

E. Honda - Like Blanka, pressing PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH is the only way to win with him.

Zangief - The strongest character in the game, this Soviet son of a bitch doesn't fuck around. If you get too close, he will rape your ass on-spot. His special move is the SPD, or Spinning Pile Driver. He has no projectiles, long-range attacks, or, fuck, any useful moves at all. Only pros use him. Zangief is also impressed with the Russian president's ability to dance very well, which is the appropriate Russian fashion of celebration. He's also confirmed to be gay and had fucked bears in the past by Capcom. Nobody was surprised.

Sagat - Possibly the cheapest motherfucker EVER in a fighting game, tourneyfags will bitch and complain if you choose him at a tournament. To win with him you just have to spam fireballs. He also has a strange obsession with fucking tigers. Nobody has defeated Sagat, and noone ever will!

M. Bison - Also known as Vega in Japan. He thinks seeing Street Fighters pummeled to dust is DELICIOUS! YEEESH! YEEESH! An effective technique to use while playing as Bison is spamming his Psycho Crusher attack. This will cause Guile to point towards the sky, with a jet of fire shooting behind him, and yell "BISONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!1" Playing as Bison is a source of great lulz, if only for his ability to shut down shitty fireball characters with a fucking headstomp.

Balrog - Also known as M. Bison in Japan. Apparently Capcom thought people would confuse this black person with Mike Tyson, so they switched the names around. Actually looks pretty white in Street Fighter 2.

Vega - Also known as Balrog in Japan. A narcissist metrosexual who is in love with himself, he comes from Spain with a claw thing on his arm who uses "Spanish Ninjutsu". (Why did they need to switch not two, but THREE characters' names around?)

Street Fighter Alpha

Birdie - Was white in the original Street Fighter, but Crapcock realized that all metalhead bikers from England are black, so they changed him. His special move is chain whipping.

Rose - MILF from Italy. When encountered in single player mode, players lose to her on purpose just to see her victory portrait.

Adon - Sagat's bitch, his goal in life is to fuck all the jaguars in the world. Sagat players pick him expecting to play exactly like Sagat, only to be pwned by some 8 year old who doesn't even know how to play the fucking game and just spams Balrog's headbutt.

Dan Hibiki - Obviously the greatest character in the game, he is like Ryu and Ken but more badass. Capshit made him to make fun of SNK who constantly rip off everything that Capcom makes. Popular among fanfic authors because he is OMG SOOOOOO FUNNY! ^_^ Dies in Street Fighter X Tekken from a very intense deepthroat from Kazuya. This caused a volcano of rage from Dan's mourners. And Lulz from the people watching it unfold.

Black Evil Ryu - A palette swap of Ryu to make him gray and orange. Like normal Ryu, many players who use him are pussies because they keep spamming Hadoukens and then teleport to the other side of the screen.

Sodom - An American 'Weaboo Warrior' who has an amazingly huge fucking hard-on for all things Nihon. Grand Supreme Douchebag extrordinare, he loves making you eat red carpet while he shoves a pointed metal pussy-creator in your chode. It's like someone took Travis Touchdown and made him suck. Has no visible head under his mask, and likely makes his money by acting as a portable double gloryhole for gay parties.

Cody = From Street Fighter:1989 Final Fight. An Amerifag from new york who got screwed over by a trap and was sent to prisonBasically, he got bored of getting raped by niggers and decided to break out of prison. His friend is some ninjafag. Also wears pajamas and doesn't afraid of anything.

Guy - Also from Final Fight. And his name is really Guy, yes. Give him some credit, he was a ninjafag before the Naruto shit took over the interwebs. Apparently he and Rose had a thing going on, even though he always chases after his fuck buddy Cody whenever he sees him.

Street Fighter III

Sean - The only gangsta in the entire series. Nobody gives a shit about him because he's just another palette swap of Ryu. His super move is a regular Hadouken.

Twelve - Possibly the stupidest name for a character ever, he is a Russian experimental organism created to be the ultimate rape machine, made of white liquid. His attacks include tentacle rape, spike rape, and being able to transform into multiple weapons. His super move allows him to transform into the opponent character, but with a white palette. Because seriously, that's what Street Fighter needs, more palette swap characters.

Hugo - Hueg wrestler from Nazi Germany. His goal in the tournament is to destroy Twelve, the evil Communist warrior from Russia. Nobody uses him in tournaments because he suks lol! He is constantly followed by his transvestite boss. His special move is in-air rape.

Poison - A tranny with big bewbs and pink hair. IT'S A TRAP!!!1

Q - Capcom decided they needed moar robots as well as plot ambiguity in the series so they threw in Q. Is he a robot? Is he black person NO ONE KNOWS and no one ever will because Capcom doesn't give a shit about you. Regardless, Q exhibits some winning qualities, namely his intro animation, which features him attempting to punch a group of fleeing children in the head.

Urien - A pallete-swap (Surprise!) of the final boss, who wears a man-thong and nothing else. His supermove is a magic mirror, which is useless unless you've played the game over 9000 hours and are Japanese. He also gets emo and cuts himself if he loses by time-out.

Makoto - A Japanese dickgirl who uses karate and is a total lesbian. Her hands and feet are comically oversized, and look like they belong on a man twice her size. Makoto can fuck any girl she wants and frequently rapes the other Street Fighter women. Her supermove is a punch to the nuts, followed by several other punches to the face.

Dudley - Dainty English boxer with all the class. Dudley never takes off his boxing gloves and he enjoys drinking tea, did I mention he was a black person?

Street Fighter IV

Abel - A French fighter who has forgotten his past and is looking for answers. Could not exist IRL, for as we all know Frenchmen can't fight for shit. Supposedly the main character of the game, he is completely boring and forgettable in every aspect. Nice job, Capcom.

Crimson Viper - A King of Fighters wannabe MILF with huge boobs and a classified electric weapon on her hand. Can also shoot fire out from between her legs.

Rufus - A truly American overweight tub of lard who looks ridiculous and has a very animated gut. Has to take a break between each round to eat about a dozen Big Macs. His eternal rival is Ken Masters, because Capcom couldn't think of anything else to do with the fat shit.

El Fuerte - Spanish for The Faggot, El Fuerte is a Mexican cooking fighter. Yes, you read that right. His moves consist of running around the screen and landing on his opponent, in a poor attempt to mimick Vega. He also has a combo called the Fierce Fist Loop. IT'S SUPER DYNAMIC COOKING TIME!

Gouken - Ryu's bearded master. He was presumed killed by Akuma, but in an amazingly bad retcon, he magically comes back to life. Akuma and Gouken both want Ryu's hot ass, but only one will claim the prize.

Seth - Villain of SF4. Besides looking like Dr. Manhattan with a yin-yang orb in his stomach, his moves consist of a mix of other fighters' moves. How original. He will rape you in arcade mode.

Juri - Apparently the main character of SSF4. Has a glowing left eye and likes to play with her opponents.. In the SSF4 animated film, she's godlike and can stop bullets with her glowing eye power, kick everyone else's ass and is pretty much invincible. In-game, she's completely useless and reguarly gets beat up by characters like Dan.

Hakan- The oiled up Turk of SSF4. He oils up his opponent until they surrender making the guys long to be a hero and the girls want to sweat. Also has the ability to shit out his opponents with his oiled up body. Surprisingly a good idea from Capcom. He also has a banging wife who is the ideal woman for any man because she doesn't talk back.

Oni - Akuma when his emo levels grow off the charts. Still same shit to expect from Ryu and Akuma. Slams the losers's head in his dick if he wins.