Today I found out Sylvester Stallone is only 5'10".
What other childhood heros aren't what I thought they were? Is Bruce Lee actually super tall? Is Samurai Jack actually a douche? Is Samwise Gamgee a woman? Is James Hetfeild a pussy? Is V a communist?
In kindergarten my nickname was Dredd. Because of a Sylvester Stallone movie, that's like an entire year of my life now rendered meaningless and fake.
Also today, this guy in my biology class- turns out he had been wearing a wig since the beginning of the year. What the hell? It's like I'm in the matrix and it just a huge reboot.
*contemplates possibility*
....Scarred.
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