And I'd Give Up Forever to Touch You?

~And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now~

Today was my first day of school. There are many things to be said about school I would think but there is one thing that I had on my mind and that was this guy. If you read my previous journal then you know what my goal was with him and well I feel that I achieved something of the sort.

I know it will still hurt to see him after everything we've been through or well what he's put me through... Seeing him in EVERY class was a bit of a shock but somehow when I looked at him he wasn't the guy I fell in love with a year ago. I don't think a summer could honestly change a person but I do think it has something to do with my new mentality.

I'm probably deep down inside going to love him unconditionally for the rest of my life anyways. I know there will always be a soft spot for him but I know I can ignore these feelings pretty well. Today when I saw him I didn't feel my usual spark in the pit of my stomach or like I got the wind knocked out of me which made me feel a bit more accomplished.

Little by little I know I can get over him but it's going to take some work but I know it won't be hard. I just don't want you to disgust me because that's how I feel about you now. Maybe that's just a stage but I hope I can get past this because it's eating me on the inside.