Day five: there is a moth in my room

as the title says, there is a moth in my room just chillin on my closet door, i kinda dont want it to leave because i think its kinda cool just sittin there. worrying about its self. so today was an okay day i guess, i finally got some reading done from the book i am currently reading called 'Die For Me" by Amy Plum, at first me and my friend april (you can check out her page and her stories she is one of my top friends on my page i cant remember her user name fully but i do know that it had phantom in it because she loved phantom of the opera) saw the book at walmart and i didnt buy the book but she did and a couple of days later i asked her how the book was and she said that she really liked it so the next time i went to walmart i asked my mom to buy it (yea i buy books instead of cellphones) and when i started reading it i also found it to be very interesting right from the first page, so if any of you have seen that book on the shelves wherever you live and were wondering wheather to buy it or not, me and my friend april deff highly recomend it:)
so i was taken school shopping today, ugh it seems like me and my mother dont really agree on anything even though my school has a color uniform, she wants me to look all business like while i am the type of girl who would just rather grab a comfy pair of pants, a hoodie, and a top because mainly i dont give a shit. take me or leave me, if you judge me by my appreance then whatever, i have all the friends i need and a nice boyfriend who loves me even when i look like crap with no makeup on haha.
speaking of my boyfriend zach, i was lead to a website today idk how i got there i think i liked a page on facebook or something, but i was brought to a site with 10 questions assking if i was ready for sex or not. usally i like to keep my sex life private but this has been bothering me all day and i feel like i really need to get this off my chest. when me and my boyfriend first started going out and the topic of sex came up, right from the start he said "i dont want to make you do anything that will make you uncomfortable because sex really isnt even a big issue to me because i just enjoy being your boyfriend and being around you and the first time you even think about having sex with me im going to tell you to wait an hour and then see how you feel about it." and he still says that to this day so why pray tell is the topic of sex on my mind? is it because im just a teenager or is it the hormones? because if it is the hormones need to knock it off but anyway when i read those 10 questions about if me and my boyfriend are ready to have sex i tried my best to anwser every question but something kept telling me that im not ready to have sex, i mean i've been with him for 2 months so far (and two very wonderful months) and yeah we have done other things together but full on sex? its just something that really blows me out of the water and scares me to death, so i asked myself, self, why are you afraid to have sex? and the anwser was simple, i dont want anything to change, and in that moment i just felt like crying because what if we do have sex and then things start to get really boring or idk things just dont feel right anymore or things just change in general, maybe i should consult my tarot cards about it too, but something just tells me i'm not ready for it, i just dont want to regret anything ya know? but for now i needed an anwser, something to keep my ground. so i decided im going to make him wait for six months before we have sex and if hes still with me by then and i feel ready to give it up then fine, at least i waited six months.
so im going to do a tarot reading to try and get some clearance about how i feel and what may happen so goodbye for now. :)

.__. MY BRAIN!!