Can you help me with advice for writing?

I never feel like I get any response in the story part of this site, so I'll post my newly written piece here. Before you tell me that "that's not what the journals are for", just help me out with a little critique here :D

Okay, here it goes:

As I saw a huddled person sitting in front of the gravestone, I heard sobs of despair and sorrow. The night was one of the darkest in years. No lights shone and no hearts beat around here. I walked through the tall grass like a ship on the sea. A path in front of me became clear as I reached the huddled person.

-Why are you here?

-Nothing can calm me but death. My heart is ripped from my chest. My hollow cries are coming from the depths of my soul.

-Why are you sad?

-Death came and collected all the souls but mine. Along with him he brought my heart, can’t you see the gaping hole?

-Who are you?

-I’m the pain that can never be silenced.

-What is your name?

-My name is Misery.

I walked around and stood before Misery and I asked one last question, “If death collects tonight, will you be quelled?” And I borrowed the scythe from Death, and collected.