***mones....>.<

I really, ussually think about how socially inapt I am when it comes to guys. I mean, I'm nothing beyond average..I'm probably under it. And I'm nothing a guy looks for in a girl: my hair doesn't fall perfectly, I don't hve the clearest complexion, I have almost no boobs..34A..? FLAT.I have no but, just huge hips. And my thighs are big-ish..? And my face really isn't all that pretty. My sense of style only fits to the needs of a scene/emo boy, and they're really hard to find around here.
Okay, let's face it. I've never been in a real relationship, that lasted over a few weeks, and the only kiss I've had, was kissing on the cheeks. And I haven't been de-pruded yet. And it seems like everyone my age, and even younger, jas. Yes, this is what society is coming to I know 9 year olds who've made out before, and 14 year olds who've given head..even lost their virginity already..and I'm behind a forst grader who's had their first real kiss on the lips.
And I walk around, witnessing people, teenagers, with their significant other, having sexual interactions, such as holding hands..or this one couple in 8th grade, Kemlyn and Tristan..and Tristan would feel Kemlyn up in the lunch line everyday, for everyone to see, that Kemlyn's ass, and body, was Tristan's property. And I still, haven't been kissed on the lips.
And I have had feelings for sososo many guys, and I'm ussually shy about it, unless they make the first move..but it never gets anywhere. What am I doung wrong? Why is it just me?
And not many 13 year olds are worried about this, but in Jersey, love..or even fake love, is every girls obsession. And guys, they're one of my obsessions. But why is it, that it's just me?! Am I really that ugly? Do I not try hard enough? Or are my hormones just too much to handle..more than anyone elses...? Am I d e s p e r a t e ?! Please, tell me why?! Should I not even bother..? Am I waisting my time?