Very developed existential dilemma

During my honors history class my teacher began to describe Plato's Allegory of the Cave theory. If you are unfamiliar with it, it basically theorizes that the entire society is theoretically chained up inside a cave, facing a blank flat cave wall. But behind us, on a sort of landing, is this huge burning fire with these unknown people by it creating shadows on the wall in front of us. All that our society can see are these shadows, but only the real people can take off their chains and get up and walk out of the cave.
This point of theoretically taking off the chains and walking out has been troubling me all day. When you attend a school full of people who are staring straight at the wall, suddenly everything seems hopeless. Being a young girl and realizing all there is that I could a achieve is almost more devastating then not ever realizing the shadows aren't real.

But yesterday, it became clear to me the set of intense obligations that would never leave me. Not only the physical part, but the mental part. Even after I get out of high school. It will always be the same thing and it will take my entire existence to escape from the chains, if I want to that is.

Now obviously drugs are a sort of short cut to these world, giving the mind the kind of expansion required to explore the idea of breaking your chains, but it can't get you all the way there. Those people, like the Dali Llama, don't need drugs to break free of their chains. And that is true and real and something I don't even know how to attempt to comprehend.

I have been thinking and ruminating and sobbing and nothing has come of it. The one person who will always be there for me is my boyfriend who is like this beautiful beacon of truth and reality. I touch him and he's real. he speaks to me and he has no fear of rejection, just trust. He see's the world as fake shadows and longs for nothing but to break free of them. He is with me, and yet its almost a weakness. I rely on him. And I want him there.

I don't know if you care about this, but you should all know that you are staring at a wall of shadows. And so is the rest of the entire world.