The search for the perfect guy is so hard

I have noticed that I don't really want to just go out with a random guy that likes me and I like him back. I want to be IN LOVE, not just saying those three simple words that are I love you. I want to say "I am IN LOVE with YOU" and actually mean it. Those two things are totally different. Some people might not but I know they are. To love is just a strong feeling that's good. To be in love is to do whatever for that one person even if it may hurt you more than them.

I know everyone goes through this at some point in their life but I really just want to skip it all and get to the easier part. I want to skip the tears and each piece of my broken heart leaving a trail along the road showing people what I've been through and what I'm afraid of happening again. I just want to fall in love the perfect guy for me and only me. It would all be so much easier but who said life would be easy. I just wish it could be so there wouldn't be any sadness in the world and everything would be good.

I know at least some people feel like this somewhere in the world and feel unwanted at some times in their life because they think the perfect guy will not come for them ever. Just like me. I felt like that at school last year. Guys would call me a name I don't feel like sharing. It's not dirty or a horrible word just rude and I won't ever forget it even if it was just a simple name. It made me feel bad. Straying from the point, if you have ever felt the same way, comment or don't. Whatever you want to do. I don't care as long as you don't judge me for what I think because you would be judging all those other girls thinking the same thing as me. Thanks for reading my journal and my feeling for this.