Secrets | Question

I've been losing a lot of sleep lately. I guess I've always had weird sleeping habits; after 12 AM, I wake up every hour on the hour. No matter what. But lately its gotten worse and there are ugly bags under my eyes.

I'm honestly tired of keeping secrets from my family, at least. My friends too, but not as much. I know I won't change anything, but I feel like venting. I've never told anyone about my eating problems (in the real world). Or how sad I am. Just sad. Its so tiring to pretend I'm taking food for lunch or that I've already eaten dinner. And its tiring to smile and pretend that I care. Sure, sometimes good friends will make me happy, for a while. And then its back to this.

Today I felt awful in my theater class. We had to arrange ourselves first by height, and then later by weight. I was one of the very tallest (5'8.5). And then I was the lightest girl there (102). But I was so triggered because everyone else in front of me in the line was so much thinner than me, but then I was still the lightest. f******ckk

I'll probably regret venting on my mibba and end up deleting this.

I'm in a better mood than I was before because I'm alone and listening to really amazing music.

Question: ~~~
Anyhow, I love crystal castles, do you?