I Made This Bed...

I'm constantly thinking to myself...

Am I the way I am because I made myself this way, or did someone do this to me? Am I this sick, twisted, weird little girl because I choose to be? Or did someone somewhere along the line make me this way? Has everything I've ever done been because I did it? Did I strive to become the person that I am today?

All I know is that no one can change me or make me see that the person I am is wrong. I am who I am, because I wanted to be this person. And no one on this earth will ever lead me to think otherwise. I almost made that mistake. I change who I was at the will of someone else. I ended up a miserable person. I wasn't the girl I wanted to become. I was this robot without a soul. I was bending over backwards, in order to shape myself into the image that someone else had made for me. And I sat back and let it happen. Once I came to, I vowed never again.

I vowed that I would the girl who dresses out of Goodwill clothing. The girl that always has her iPod on shuffle and turned all the way up. The girl that dances in the street in the pouring rain. The girl that everyone wants advice from. The girl that no one understands. The girl that wants to be friends with everyone, no matter their age, race, creed, sexuality, or interests. The girl that gives everything, and takes nothing in return.

This is who I am. This is who I made myself out to be.

I made this bed, and now, I will lie in it with pride in my soul, and my heart on my sleeve. Because I know, that I will never be comfortable anywhere else.