The 28 things I hate about myself.

Warning: I’m going to be ranting about myself, so if you don’t want to read … don’t read.

Here it goes, I’m not going to edit anything or delete anything, I’m just going to write down and hopefully feel a little better about this situation.

We all have that friend, that one friend that we can go to no matter what. I don’t have that friend so that’s why I’m writing here. I’m not expecting any response and I don’t expect pity or whatever, I just need to get this out.

I’m that one person in class that likes to make jokes that people laugh at (even though I’m shy), I joke with my friends about what a “sexy” beast I am, the one who is so beautiful that I’m most likely to marry myself one day.

Truth is. I hate myself.

I hate my right ear (because it stick a little out meaning I can’t wear caps or hats)

I hate my neck (Because it’s discoloured and I can’t have my hair up, just loose)

I hate my boobs (because they’re small and one is smaller than the other, disgusting I know)

I hate my elbows and armpits.

I hate my tummy and the stretchmark’s I have on it.

I hate my hips, thighs and the inside of my thighs.

I hate my legs, my feet and my toes.

I hate the fact that I’m somewhat socially awkward leading to me spending most of my time
at home in front of the computer instead of being with my friends (not that they invite me to anything.)

I hate that I’ve never had a boyfriend and never been kissed properly (I had one kiss in kindergarden but it was really snotty and just a small peck)

I hate that I’m very emotional and cry easily.

I hate the feeling of being alone and having no one to talk to.

I hate that my best friend/cousin died of leukaemia almost 4 years ago.

I hate that I was bullied when I was younger, leading me to become socially awkward.

I hate that feeling I get when we’re supposed to pick partners in gym/P.E and no one wants
to be with me.

I hate that I sometimes just randomly break down and cry in my bedroom.

I hate that I can’t wear the clothes I want because of my weight.

I hate that I can’t motivate myself enough to start training so I can’t stop complaining about
my weight (which i know is my fault.)

I hate my mom’s fiancée and how she has turned out because of him.

I hate how my mom and older sister, fights, it really breaks my heart.

I kind of hate myself for writing this because I never talk about these things, because people think of me as the girl who smiles all the time.

I hate the fact that I’ve had suicidal thoughts.

So there it is. It feels weird writing all of it down because it’s always been in my head. And now it’s out online. I don’t know, it doesn’t feel like a ton of weights have been lifted off my shoulders but it’s feels a little better just knowing I’ve gotten it out. I don’t really know who is going to read this but that doesn’t matter. I’ve said what I have to say.

I do like my eyes.