Just a Preview...Memories, as they Reappear.

You look at yourself and wish, pray you could see someone else staring back at you in the mirror. You think about what could be, or what should be. You look back at your life and regret nearly everything you've done. You wish, pray that things could be different...Would have been different. Yet life is what it is. You can't change anything. It's set in stone.

In all of that..There's those moments of just wanting that one last breath to leave your body. The thought of can be overwhelming or satisfying. It feels like nothing will change, you won't ever be happy, that it's over. It's like the lyrics from one of Pierce The Veils' songs....

"What's so good about pickin' up the pieces?

What if I don't even want to?"

It just becomes so tiring. Then along with reality and the now, you have your past following you. It's as if it just sits there...Waiting for your weakest moments, and then out of no where it appears stronger than ever and it just eats you slowly. Piece by piece. Or maybe it isn't then that it tears you apart. Maybe when it's when you're completely happy, maybe it's when you feel as if you don't have a care in the world. Then something triggers a memory, and it's as if you're hurt all over again. As if nothing can cover what happened so long ago. It's a haunting memory.

As soon as all these memories flood back, it seems that's when your life starts to crumble and you begin to stumble once more. It's as if it's a never ending cycle, and there is nothing to break it.
What keeps you breathing?
What keeps you going?
Is there anything more?
I've felt my world crash many times. The hardest being when I was younger. As I grew older I felt as if slowly..oh so very slowly, I was putting the pieces back together but then something would come along and throw each piece right back down. As I said it's a never ending cycle, and I'm only wondering when It will break...
I don't see it happening anytime soon.

I wonder...
Could breaking the cycle all be a matter of thought? A matter of tellin' yourself you're worth every breath that you take. That the memories are just that..Memories. That they have no effect on the present, therefore they shouldn't affect it? Although, Isn't what is done, Isn't what has happened a part of you...made you who you are? Yet, at the same time you have everyone telling you to forget, move on, live for the now. Sometimes, maybe that isn't even possible. You can't always forget what is done. Because that's just it..It's been done.
..